I have been reviewing lots of forum postings lately and came across an interesting posting. There seems to be a debate about how to approach informing a student’s family about their need to upgrade their instrument. I can certainly see the logic in the student needing an instrument to progress. I can also see the logic in using tact and speaking to the parents in a tactful fashion, and not speaking through the child.
At some point in the debate the teacher says a few things that I found alarming:
1. I have driven by their house and know they can afford the piano. - I understand how it would be tempting to assume that a family has the means, but I would interject that it hardly seems reasonable to infer that a parent wouldn’t want to help their child achieve results if the means were available.
2. The teacher also stated that she took the student on knowing they did not have the instrument that would suit the student long term. Now the teacher is stating that she may drop the student if the parents do not invest in the required instrument. Again, logic dictates that unless obtaining the required instrument was a condition of the student’s acceptance to begin with, it should hardly be a deal breaker. As I have stressed before it is never a good idea to crush the child’s spirit or hopes. If they enjoy the music, we as professionals should do everything in our power to encourage their interest and their desire.
3. It is very important that there be a professional tone when addressing the issue with the student or the student’s family. This teacher had included in her letter posting for the instrument from Craig’s List. No doubt the teacher intended to be helpful, but this gesture could have easily been taken the wrong way.
Here are a few tips for effective, professional, non-confrontational communication:
- Write down the main points you wish to convey, so you can be clear when speaking to the parents.
- Remember to make the conversation about the student and their progress.
- Remember to compliment before criticizing, and if there is a need to criticize offer a solution, do not just share the problem.
- Unexpressed expectations create planned resentment or make any deal breakers known in the beginning so that every one has all the needed information.
- Don’t place the student in between yourself and the parent. Address financial issues with the parent unless the student is paying for the lessons.
The most important thing is to be encouraging to the student, be a resource to the parents and remember our students create our income, so we should consider how we like to be treated when we are paying the bill.
This is a family who's main bread winner just left their job to begin a company of their own. I thought it fair to tell the parents that within the next year the children would be advancing beyond their current instrument (a digital piano). Quite honestly, the eldest child has a gift for music and I would like to see her on a piano sooner, but I think it fair to tell the parents that they have a bit of time to shop. Additionally, I always refer the parents to "The Piano Book" by Larry Fine. The book is a wonderful guide for anyone considering the purchase of a new or used piano. Also, I keep the card of a technician on me always, to remind my clients that refurbished pianos and used instruments are many times reasonable, but should be looked over by a technician and not a piano teacher.
by Jessica — Tue Apr 24, 2007 @ 1:37 pm
I love your attitude and I love that you focused on third- party credibility by offering a book even though as a teacher you are the obvious expert. I also love that you incorporate networking into your studio by offering a card and options to the students.
by AnaLise — Tue May 1, 2007 @ 1:13 am