Comments on: Respecting Religious Diversity

By: Ed Pearlman

Ed Pearlman — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 04:06:50 +0000

I don’t think it’s wise to question whether someone uncomfortable attending a recital at a religious institution should or shouldn’t feel that way. Would you really want students and families distracted by feeling unhappy with the surroundings during a recital? The focus should be on the music and the performers, and students should gain a good feeling from it, not a feeling of threat or confrontation.

If you weren’t able to change the venue, it would have been good to acknowledge the student’s concerns with respect, let them off the hook this time, and find a neutral venue the next time. But you did one better by changing the venue in time for the recital.

I wrote a blog post about holiday music (http://www.musicteachershelper.com/blog/thoughts-on-holiday-music)in which I tried to deal with the other side of this issue: opening people’s minds musically to the religious diversity around us. But that fits more in the realm of teaching about music, whereas requiring people to attend a recital in a building where they’re uncomfortable is not really relevant to musical instruction.

Still, some teachers might have less choice and be stuck with a venue that some students are unhappy with, for all sorts of reasons, whether religious, political, family history, or other problem, and in the end you just have to explain your situation and ask students to focus on the music. They’ll have to handle it as they see fit, even if it means skipping recitals or quitting.

By: Jennifer Thomas

Jennifer Thomas — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 21:02:34 +0000

Wow, well I can see you already made a decision. But I just now read your article and was surprised at this student’s parents reaction. That is such a touch situation. I like what several people above said, about the fact that it is not a religious ceremony and they aren’t being asked to paticipate in one. But…again 3 students is a lot and it would have created some controversy and perhaps a negative atmosphere at the recital. I hope that you were able to find an alternative place to have it.

By: Ilana Kennell

Ilana Kennell — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 23:36:56 +0000

Have you checked with public libraries?

By: Bonnie Kreutz

Bonnie Kreutz — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 19:26:49 +0000

I actually had a student quit because of similar situation a few years ago. They didn’t tell me before the recital – they just didn’t come to the next lesson or answer any of my phone calls. I heard the reason why from someone else later. I agree that perhaps you are better off without these students but 3 is a lot to loose. On a similar note – I have 2 families now that are of different religions that would rather not participate in events on Saturday but have never complained. I am changing my future recitals to Friday evenings to accomodate them because they are so nice about it.

By: Emily Jorgensen

Emily Jorgensen — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 03:47:09 +0000

Well, it sounds like you have decided to change venues. One thing that has worked for me, when student absolutely cannot come to a recital, I ask the parents to arrange a family and friends recital at their home at another time. I actually enjoy getting to attend these, as I understand the student much more after visiting their home. If I cannot attend, I simply ask them about it at the next lesson. In some cases, a few families have even joined together at one family’s home to do this–the recitals are short, about 20 minutes, and there are refreshments and mingling afterward. I want the students’ hard work to be acknowledged and appreciated, but I respect that piano is not the only thing in their life and sometimes there are valid priority issues. Having a formalized performance opportunity, even if only for grandma coming over and everyone dressing up, still meets those needs. Good luck!

By: Michelle Payne

Michelle Payne — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:39:24 +0000

Well, here’s an unexpected update: 3 families have told me they will not go there! THREE! Unbelievable. While I am personally horrified by the pettiness of this issue, a business is a business, so I am just going to find a different place. I have to, because I haven’t even told everyone and I’m worried that if I do, it will get too controversial.

By: Shannyn

Shannyn — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:39:09 +0000

If she is that upset about going into the building, let her know that you are sensitive to her situation, but that is the place where the recital will be this time. Like it was said before, you are not asking her to attend a service, just simply to participate in a non-religious recital. If she still is upset, let her know that she doesn’t need to attend the recital, but that she will have to explain to her child why she can’t have that performance opportunity. I wouldn’t give in to her. You can’t please everyone. And for the next recital, try to find a non-religious venue.

By: Christine O'Meally

Christine O'Meally — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:20:21 +0000

My initial thought was, “Oh, For God’s Sake,” and then I realized, “Well, yeah.” I agree with what dveej said – she has to learn to get along with all sorts of people. You’re not asking them to worship there, only to perform. If she believes that this setting would undermine her faith or her daughter’s faith, well, then she must be worried that her faith isn’t all that strong.

By: Paula

Paula — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:44:05 +0000

I like the idea of having the parent find a location that is not affiliated with any religion. Let her know that you have students of many different religions and you don’t want to offend any of them, that you are set for this recital, but would welcome her help for the next one. By the way….isn’t the whole point of any religion to learn to get along with each other, be tolerant, kind and charitable? No?! That has been my experience.

By: Steve Romande

Steve Romande — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:11:34 +0000

Let her go…..she will undermine your studio.