This week I was faced with a tough situation. I need a place for my next recital. The retirement home we usually host at is too small for my growing program to hold all of our students, teachers, families, and friends. A good problem, but still, a problem. Several of my students attend a somewhat controversial religious center, and the members of this organization were kind enough to offer their building to me, complete with a PA and Microphones, a warm up room, and a lovely outdoor patio for parents to relax while kids do warm ups! On top of that, the performance space is beautiful. I was so excited. But then, when I told the parent of one of my other students, she got tense, and said that it would be a sin for her to go in that building. A sin? I was not prepared for this.
I am no stranger to being a religious minority. After living in the most religiously diverse city in the country, Los Angeles, for 5 years, I have learned a lot about being around religious cultures different from my own. Most people associate LA with plastic surgery and celebrities, but there is much more spiritual activity than you may think here in Hollywood. We have Evangelicals, Pentecostals, Catholics, Unitarians, Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, Muslims, Jews, and everything in between. But, my experience goes back much further than that. I was raised in a religion that was not only a minority in the town I grew up in, but a hated minority. Whenever I told people what religion I was, I braced myself for the verbal attacks of being told I would go to hell because of the affiliation. It hurt. In my public school, we sang many songs that were of the city’s common religion. I kind of liked some of the songs, but I have to admit that every time I sang many of them, I was reminded of my minority status. So due to that, I am extremely sensitive to religious differences. I don’t teach songs that are blatantly religious, unless I know what the child’s religious background is, and I can choose appropriate songs. I have a colorful spectrum of religions among my students from Wiccan to Episcopal, to Orthodox Jewish, to Kabbalist, to Evangelical Christian. I love it! I love being around so many different faiths all the time, but I got hit a new one when that parent told me it would be a sin for her to enter a religious building not of her faith. I have been in Buddhist Temples, Jewish Synagogues, Mormon Churches, Baptist Churches, Catholic and Episcopal Cathedrals. To me, I find it fascinating to learn about different faiths. So to hear someone say they would be committing a sin. Wow. What do I do? For the first time ever, I was speechless. I certainly don’t want to make anyone commit a sin, but I also don’t want to leave anyone out. What do I do? Well, she offered to let me use her religious center’s building. Great. Only problem is that it is not handicap accessible, and there is not a piano, just a Yamaha Clavinova.
The recital is 2 months away, and I need to have a recital location. Part of me wonders if I should just keep the original place, and search for a place in the student’s faith that she will be able to enter for the next one. I feel that at least 2 of my other students will have the same problem. I think everyone else in my program is neutral enough that they will not be plagued with the fear of committing a sin by entering a different religion’s building. I want to respect everyone’s religion, but is there a limit to trying to please everyone?
I still have not come up with an answer. I’m not entirely sure what the right thing is to do. Any suggestions? I’m open to your responses.
About the Author
When I was just a college Junior, I started teaching private guitar lessons in order to support myself. I was in a rock band, writing songs and performing on a regular basis, and I certainly did not plan on becoming a teacher. My plan was to graduate, get a job in social work, and just continue writing songs. Teaching surprised me. I ended up falling in love with the act of guiding a student from point a to point b. To watch someone go from knowing nothing about a subject, to simply performing in a recital, is such an awesome thing. I ended up scrapping that social work idea. I was doing more good as a teacher, minus the intense stress that most social workers go home with. I currently have a busy program that teaches private guitar, piano, and voice lessons in Los Angeles homes. I am also the creator of the music and service blog 38 Ways to Change the World Through Music.
The thing is, those of you who are thinking "oh, the Poor, Poor religious minorities" here are discounting that quite often these same religious minorities are the first ones to discriminate against other minorities. Maybe it's poetic justice - I don't know. But I live in the greater LA area, and I rent out churches for my recitals, and if a student refused to play because it was in a church she felt was sinful, I would consider it a learning opportunity. For her - not for me and the rest of my students. She needs to learn how to live in society, especially if she is going to place this kind of limitation on her own life. It is not fair or right to edit our lives to make this kind of person comfortable.
Aaarghhhh.
by dveej — Fri Sep 18, 2009 @ 8:43 pm
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by Amy — Tue Sep 22, 2009 @ 5:48 am
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by Jennifer Thomas — Mon Oct 5, 2009 @ 3:02 pm
If you weren't able to change the venue, it would have been good to acknowledge the student's concerns with respect, let them off the hook this time, and find a neutral venue the next time. But you did one better by changing the venue in time for the recital.
I wrote a blog post about holiday music (http://www.musicteachershelper.com/blog/thoughts-on-holiday-music)in which I tried to deal with the other side of this issue: opening people's minds musically to the religious diversity around us. But that fits more in the realm of teaching about music, whereas requiring people to attend a recital in a building where they're uncomfortable is not really relevant to musical instruction.
Still, some teachers might have less choice and be stuck with a venue that some students are unhappy with, for all sorts of reasons, whether religious, political, family history, or other problem, and in the end you just have to explain your situation and ask students to focus on the music. They'll have to handle it as they see fit, even if it means skipping recitals or quitting.
by Ed Pearlman — Sat Oct 17, 2009 @ 10:06 pm