Do you ever get a student who just will not grasp the concept you are trying to teach? Or a student who has a snappy comment to every little thing you say? How to you keep yourself from raising your voice or showing your irritation in other ways? This is a topic that I struggle with daily. Some of you out there may have been blessed with a natural born patience. I envy you. I was raised by a hot tempered Italian woman, and it got passed right on down to me. When I first started teaching, I knew that I had to be more patient or else I would be an ineffective teacher. I was a quick study, surprisingly. Turning on the patience button was pretty easy at first, but as time goes by, I find old habits creeping back in. If you have the same problem, I hope some of my techniques will help.
1. When a student acts a little sassy, think back to when you were a kid. When you said something sarcastic, I’ll bet you just didn’t know any better. Remember that and brush it off. Smile and laugh at this familiar place where the roles are reversed. It’s pretty wacky, isn’t it? Then you can calmly tell them you don’t like their tone.
2. If a student is just not getting it, and you have gone over the same concept over and over again, take a break. Play a game that relates to the concept, or just move on to something completely different. You can always come back to it later when your student is refreshed again.
3. Keep it light. When you feel that things are getting too hard for the student, do something that you know he will be good at. For example, most of my students are brilliant at copying what I play. Of course, I want them to learn music theory, so we don’t do too much copycat. But when things get annoying for me, I say “Who cares? Let’s play by ear”. The student then feels good again and will be way more open to trying the challenging concept again. Sometimes it’s just a matter of building up their confidence.
4. Breathe. So obvious. So modern. So silly sounding, but it works! When you start to feel your blood pressure rise, take in a deep breath through your nose, and slowly release it through your mouth. Do it a few times before reacting to the fact that little Suzy is aimlessly banging on the keys after you just told her for the 3rd time to play a C Major scale.
Please post more ideas here. I’m sure we could all benefit from developing more patience.
Very thoughtful advice. I know I need more patience!
yep!!! thats right. i have a couple of students who have been brought to class for music , cos music helps them reduce the aggresiveness.. these points are helpful
Thanks for the comments. I sometimes wish I had the patience I needed instantly in these situations
I have also found what I call “diversion tactics” to be the best solution to this problem. I have one guitar student who refused speak politely and when I tried to ask what music she would like to learn she just grunted “I don’t know?!” After two years she finally said she wanted to read Disney sheet music and play it on the guitar. Not even TAB. By this time I had exhausted all of my “diversion tactics” but they had kept me sane and now she enjoys my lessons because I made the effort to continue teaching her. In some ways it was as if she was testing me!
Some other diversion tactics I use are:
1. Improvisation to backing tracks
2. Listening/Aural games
3. Call & Response playing
4. Technical drills
5. Or even teaching them to play something on a different instrument that I have in my studio like a Ukulele or Piano.
Thanks again for your blog. I read every newsletter.
I consider patience as a valuable virtue also. Relationship without long patience for each other will be useless and I don’t think will turn into success.